Sometimes you don't realize you've done the wrong thing until after you've already done it. When that happens you're essentially left with 2 choices: try to make the "wrong thing" be the "right thing", or just acknowledge the misstep, pivot and get back going in the right direction.
I think you already know which camp I fall into, so here's the thing:
I'm canceling the trip to Cuba.
Yes, the very trip that I diligently worked to curate for weeks & weeks (and weeks)...the one I launched JUST 3 days ago.
Saturday night I was lying across the sofa reading this fantastic book when I came across a sentence that made me pause for a moment and I realized:
I don't actually WANT to take a group to Cuba (at least not right now).
It deviates from what I really love most about seeing the world: having the freedom to figure the plan out as I go. THAT is really one of my strengths and it's the thing that always impacts me the most when I travel--finding joy in the unexpected quiet spaces. The best moments have always come when Ijust let the trip dictate the plan instead of trying to plan the trip.
I read that short sentence on Saturday & then I heard my God-voice ask, "Are you taking these people to Cuba because you really WANT to have this experience with them or because you're trying to BENEFIT from them going?"And in an instant I knew the honest answer was more about the benefits than my wants. Yikes.
I've had my heart set on Cuba for so long that I totally plowed through the fact that having to keep a tight schedule with 10 people actually does NOT sound like EASE to me. Or enjoyment. Or excitement. It sounds like work, force and "efforting" which is totally antithetical to how I believe my work should feel in this world.
I momentarily got caught up in making this new opportunity happen instead of allowing it to happen. And even though it occurred to me afffffffter all of the months of planning and afffffter I announced it (ugh).....I knew I needed to recalibrate.
So I'm going to Cuba...but I'm gonna go alone. At least this time. There will be other trips for sure--India, Vietnam, Greece, Thailand & Egypt are all on the list--but they will be more like what I've planned for Marrakech: a curated group of women traveling together based around engagement, relaxation, community, empowerment & finding oneself in the world. And those trips will feel easy, exciting and enjoyable. They'll be in the flow.
There's been a ton of interest in this trip so I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. I believe that when you know better you do better and the best way I can honor you in designing these one-of-a-kind experiences....is to first honor myself.So that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm not gonna lie--I wish I'd realized this before I invested so much time putting it all together, but I know this will all serve me in someway down the line. I'd rather tell the truth than ignore my intuition that has clearly whispered, "Girl, you know this ain't right."
Thanks for understanding.